So my Baby Girl and I were having a downtime discussion last evening. She wore her lovely cute pink dress with frill socks and heels to please me and experiment with “little” attitudes. We are experimenting with dress to enhance the Dom and sub roles during conversations to engender the tender caring Dominant nature and submissiveness which avoids conflict. It worked a treat!.
Baby Girl came to a few realisations herself which I had already understood but it was so lovely to see her work them out for herself – namely that the control really exists with the submissive in a way – as she chooses to give / surrender control.
Anyway – we ended up talking about a really common situation which must exist for so many couples – vanilla or D/s. We went to a masked ball recently and I bought her a new dress and heels. She absolutely loved them and felt proud to wear them. She said that she looked around the room and could not see a single dress or outfit she would rather be wearing. That made me feel proud that I had chosen well and she enjoyed wearing my choice.
A common scenario for many might be where a lady is indecisive about which dress to wear to dinner etc. Which outfit to choose? Go on girls, we all know some of you spend an hour or longer (how about all afternoon I hear some of you say!) trying them on again and again and again. You ask your man – which does he think you should wear?
Somehow the beautiful gift of submission and entrusting of herself (Baby Girl) to my care has created the most powerful respect for another that I have ever known. It means that at times I am weak at the knees when I am with her. She is so beautiful and so kind and then to give herself to me so wholly – well. I could sing, cry, scream, collapse at your feet. I’d do anything for her. Walk the earth for her.
Now if that does not somehow mean the power has shifted I don’t know what does!! So what I am trying to say is that I would kneel and kiss her feet anytime – but she knows I enjoy to kiss her feet anyway ! But not out of her commanding me to do so – that does not work for me – more out of a willingness to be yours. Maybe that is what she feels the other way around as my sub. I want to please her. I want to protect her too though. If she wanted to tie me up and use me I’d let her – I trust her so much.
Thank you Baby Girl.
Here are a couple of blogs I follow – they are husband and wife and living it for real. They have both been so helpful to me. Can’t recommend their writing enough. This is deeper than the Kink. This is what is really about.
What is Zen? Well most people see it as Buddhist. Well of course buddhists have Zen within their teachings and thinkings but really Zen is an indeterminable thing. It can be described as the art of thought. The study of life and of the way of things. The study of “The Way”. For me it is a lifelong journey into self understanding. The more we study ourselves the more we enter a peaceful state, we have a greater sensory awareness, greater emotional awareness, become more connected to our heart, soul, spirit, essence of our very being – however you choose to view such matters. For a little over a decade I have studied zen and self very actively. It has transformed me in a way, and yet of course it has not changed me at all – merely revealed a purer form of me. Less filtered by the masks we all wear to protect and define ourselves. I am merely a beginner really. It is a life’s work. There is no end to growth and self understanding. There have been some significant steps of enlightenment along the way, gates through which one passes from which one can never ever return. Life takes on new dimensions. Sights, sounds, extra senses – a sea of energy which connects us all. Feeling people in a new way. A deep sensual connection to all living things.
I recall discovering shibari and I had an immediate fascination with it. Somehow it resonated deeply within me and I simply knew I had to study it and introduce into play with my Baby Girl. The video inserted her is one of my favourites as I shows so well the beauty and skill of shibari but more importantly the love and connection, trust, respect, sensuality and adoration between the two – Dom and sub. BDSM is anything but abusive. To the un-initiated it may seem that way – in fact if you’d asked me 15 years ago I would have said the same. But like most things people become judgemental about – they simply don’t understand it.
Now check out the love and connection between these two – the sub space she enters and the sensual domination and erotic art here. Simply beautiful Continue reading Shibari – Sensual Magic
So I believe that the most common male roleplay fantasy is Schoolgirl. If it is not the highest then it certainly is high up the list and sales of schoolgirl uniforms probably outstrip any other uniform / roleplay outfit.
I pondered upon this as it has always been a big favourite of mine. As I enjoy understanding myself and have chosen a zen journey of self discovery and have interests in psychology I began to make connections between my penchant for schoolgirl uniforms / roleplays in our bedroom play and the whole sexual psychology thing and my Dominant nature. There are those who believe and suggest that this comes from males first sexual awakening coming around the time of being at school and, who were the females to which they were attracted….. the schoolgirls they saw every day. I can go with that. So why do girls often not get off seeing their husband as a schoolboy in uniform! (I am sure do enjoy this but I think you see my point – no?) It is common for girls to like older boys or girls – perhaps because we know that girls tend to mature physically and emotionally rather sooner than boys and often find boys really immature and irritating. Hence perhaps they prefer the older guy. This is often true of adult women. Continue reading Schoolgirl Fantasy
Somehow I am drawn to contrasts. Perhaps we all are – who knows – feel free to comment if you have a view on this. I am interested to know others views on this. Maybe it is to do with greater sensory and emotional stimulus. A richer existence. As a zen student and student of the gift of life I seek out a wider richer experience of existence. Most of us live very ordinary lives and there is nothing wrong with that but don’t they say variety is the spice of life?! Anyone who knows about “normal distribution” curves or the “Bell curve” will understand when I that we mostly live in the central band – safe and comfortable. But – the places in our existence to the left and the right – now why not go there – especially if we move from one to the other – a powerful contrast.
Pain and spankings and deep submission to profoundly loving aftercare perhaps, rough sexual play versus intense sensual experiences such as shibari and erotic sensual massage and stimulatory layering. A much fuller experience of our existence. Continue reading Contrasts
To many the idea of being “owned” seems abhorrent. Now, don’t get me wrong – we own nobody. I get that. However there is truly something beautiful about feeling like we truly belong to a person. To me, the protective caring part of me loves to feel like I know that I “own” my Baby Girl. Of course – I can only own a gift which is freely given to me. I remember when I first came across the expression “The Gift of Submission”. It is a loop. A feedback loop between a Dom and His sub – she must feel safe and secure and trusting that she desires to give herself and hand over responsibilities, her body etc to her Dominant. He needs to feel that ownership and ability to care and deep down she seeks that protective strong Dominant man . And hence the work of each party is upon themselves – the Dom to make Himself worthy of her submission, and the sub to allow herself to meet His needs such that He can step up to the plate to be worthy. Continue reading Ownership and Belonging