When It Feels Impossible!

So two days ago I hit a real low. My Baby Girl and I are working through difficult times and trying to establish our own unique blend of D/s. Naturally I am a leader and a teacher and a guide and mentor – in many domains of my life. From ancient zen wisdom comes the expression “I shall teach you to the best of your ability”.  Now I appreciate that has the potential to sound phenomenally arrogant – until we stop and think and realise that when it comes with love and humility it is really beautiful and makes a good teacher. We can easily drown someone by sharing knowledge which above their ability to assimilate – too big a step from their current level of understanding. One would not deliver a PhD lecture to an undergraduate! That would be egotistical and showing off potentially. Or at the very least failing to be a good teacher and understand that your job is to teach by taking them just one step further than where they are, with an occasional well judged leap.

Continue reading When It Feels Impossible!

Schoolgirl Fantasy

So I believe that the most common male roleplay fantasy is Schoolgirl. If it is not the highest then it certainly is high up the list and sales of schoolgirl uniforms probably outstrip any other uniform / roleplay outfit.

I pondered upon this as it has always been a big favourite of mine. As I enjoy understanding myself and have chosen a zen journey of self discovery and have interests in psychology I began to make connections between my penchant for schoolgirl uniforms / roleplays in our bedroom play and the whole sexual psychology thing and my Dominant nature. There are those who believe and suggest that this comes from males first sexual awakening coming around the time of being at school and, who were the females to which they were attracted….. the schoolgirls they saw every day. I can go with that. So why do girls often not get off seeing their husband as a schoolboy in uniform! (I am sure do enjoy this but I think you see my point – no?) It is common for girls to like older boys or girls – perhaps because we know that girls tend to mature physically and emotionally rather sooner than boys and often find boys really immature and irritating. Hence perhaps they prefer the older guy. This is often true of adult women. Continue reading Schoolgirl Fantasy


Somehow I am drawn to contrasts. Perhaps we all are – who knows – feel free to comment if you have a view on this. I am interested to know others views on this. Maybe it is to do with greater sensory and emotional stimulus. A richer existence. As a zen student and student of the gift of life I seek out a wider richer experience of existence. Most of us live very ordinary lives and there is nothing wrong with that but don’t they say variety is the spice of life?! Anyone who knows about “normal distribution” curves or the “Bell curve” will understand when I that we mostly live in the central band – safe and comfortable. But – the places in our existence to the left and the right – now why not go there – especially if we move from one to the other – a powerful contrast.

Pain and spankings and deep submission to profoundly loving aftercare perhaps, rough sexual play versus intense sensual experiences such as shibari and erotic sensual massage and stimulatory layering. A much fuller experience of our existence. Continue reading Contrasts