Interesting read I happened upon – nothing ground breaking but presents at the end some interesting scientific research into what is effectively sub space and Dom space. As a Dom and Martial Artist and Zen student / teacher I found it fascinating that Dom enters “flow” which is a focus state of mind. Similar to that attained in martial arts.
So my Pretty Girl and I were having a downtime discussion last evening. She wore her lovely cute pink dress with frill socks and heels to please me and experiment with “little” attitudes. We are experimenting with dress to enhance the Dom and sub roles during conversations to engender the tender caring Dominant nature and submissiveness which avoids conflict. It worked a treat!.
Pretty Girl came to a few realisations herself which I had already understood but it was so lovely to see her work them out for herself – namely that the control really exists with the submissive in a way – as she chooses to give / surrender control.
Anyway – we ended up talking about a really common situation which must exist for so many couples – vanilla or D/s. We went to a masked ball recently and I bought her a new dress and heels. She absolutely loved them and felt proud to wear them. She said that she looked around the room and could not see a single dress or outfit she would rather be wearing. That made me feel proud that I had chosen well and she enjoyed wearing my choice.
A common scenario for many might be where a lady is indecisive about which dress to wear to dinner etc. Which outfit to choose? Go on girls, we all know some of you spend an hour or longer (how about all afternoon I hear some of you say!) trying them on again and again and again. You ask your man – which does he think you should wear?
Continue reading Keeping the Respect and Dynamic Alive – Errors Many Couple Make
Somehow the beautiful gift of submission and entrusting of herself (Pretty Girl) to my care has created the most powerful respect for another that I have ever known. It means that at times I am weak at the knees when I am with her. She is so beautiful and so kind and then to give herself to me so wholly – well. I could sing, cry, scream, collapse at your feet. I’d do anything for her. Walk the earth for her.
Now if that does not somehow mean the power has shifted I don’t know what does!! So what I am trying to say is that I would kneel and kiss her feet anytime – but she knows I enjoy to kiss her feet anyway ! But not out of her commanding me to do so – that does not work for me – more out of a willingness to be yours. Maybe that is what she feels the other way around as my sub. I want to please her. I want to protect her too though. If she wanted to tie me up and use me I’d let her – I trust her so much.
Thank you Pretty Girl.
To many the idea of being “owned” seems abhorrent. Now, don’t get me wrong – we own nobody. I get that. However there is truly something beautiful about feeling like we truly belong to a person. To me, the protective caring part of me loves to feel like I know that I “own” my Pretty Girl. Of course – I can only own a gift which is freely given to me. I remember when I first came across the expression “The Gift of Submission”. It is a loop. A feedback loop between a Dom and His sub – she must feel safe and secure and trusting that she desires to give herself and hand over responsibilities, her body etc to her Dominant. He needs to feel that ownership and ability to care and deep down she seeks that protective strong Dominant man . And hence the work of each party is upon themselves – the Dom to make Himself worthy of her submission, and the sub to allow herself to meet His needs such that He can step up to the plate to be worthy. Continue reading Ownership and Belonging