Interesting Psychology Article

Interesting read I happened upon – nothing ground breaking but presents at the end some interesting scientific research into what is effectively sub space and Dom space. As a Dom and Martial Artist and Zen student / teacher I found it fascinating that Dom enters “flow” which is a focus state of mind. Similar to that attained in martial arts.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-wide-wide-world-psychology/201502/the-surprising-psychology-bdsm

 

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Keeping the Respect and Dynamic Alive – Errors Many Couple Make

So my Pretty Girl and I were having a downtime discussion last evening. She wore her lovely cute pink dress with frill socks and heels to please me and experiment with “little” attitudes. We are experimenting with dress to enhance the Dom and sub roles during conversations to engender the tender caring Dominant nature and submissiveness which avoids conflict. It worked a treat!.

Pretty Girl came to a few realisations herself which I had already understood but it was so lovely to see her work them out for herself – namely that the control really exists with the submissive in a way – as she chooses to give / surrender control.

Anyway – we ended up talking about a really common situation which must exist for so many couples – vanilla or D/s. We went to a masked ball recently and I bought her a new dress and heels. She absolutely loved them and felt proud to wear them. She said that she looked around the room and could not see a single dress or outfit she would rather be wearing. That made me feel proud that I had chosen well and she enjoyed wearing my choice.

A common scenario for many might be where a lady is indecisive about which dress to wear to dinner etc. Which outfit to choose? Go on girls, we all know some of you spend an hour or longer (how about all afternoon I hear some of you say!) trying them on again and again and again. You ask your man – which does he think you should wear?

Continue reading Keeping the Respect and Dynamic Alive – Errors Many Couple Make

When It Feels Impossible!

So two days ago I hit a real low. My Pretty Girl and I are working through difficult times and trying to establish our own unique blend of D/s. Naturally I am a leader and a teacher and a guide and mentor – in many domains of my life. From ancient zen wisdom comes the expression “I shall teach you to the best of your ability”.  Now I appreciate that has the potential to sound phenomenally arrogant – until we stop and think and realise that when it comes with love and humility it is really beautiful and makes a good teacher. We can easily drown someone by sharing knowledge which above their ability to assimilate – too big a step from their current level of understanding. One would not deliver a PhD lecture to an undergraduate! That would be egotistical and showing off potentially. Or at the very least failing to be a good teacher and understand that your job is to teach by taking them just one step further than where they are, with an occasional well judged leap.

Continue reading When It Feels Impossible!