Ownership and Belonging

To many the idea of being “owned” seems abhorrent. Now, don’t get me wrong – we own nobody. I get that. However there is truly something beautiful about feeling like we truly belong to a person. To me, the protective caring part of me loves to feel like I know that I “own” my Baby Girl. Of course – I can only own a gift which is freely given to me.  I remember when I first came across the expression “The Gift of Submission”.  It is a loop. A feedback loop between a Dom and His sub – she must feel safe and secure and trusting that she desires to give herself and hand over responsibilities, her body etc to her Dominant. He needs to feel that ownership and ability to care and deep down she seeks that protective strong Dominant man . And hence the work of each party is upon themselves – the Dom to make Himself worthy of her submission,  and the sub to allow herself to meet His needs such that He can step up to the plate to be worthy.

I am not knocking anyone who has a slave girl relationship and I am aware that this too is still an earned submission but the power exchange (more about this in another post) is much more profound and total- by their mutual choice. I still question the term slave as to me a slave does not surrender willingly. they do not submit, they were bought property and had no free will and would have preferred to not to be enslaved. A Master slave relationship is entirely different – they are both choosing but the submissive seeks the liberation from responsibility and so hands over most of their will.  I know that I want a submissive, not a slave. But that is just me….

But I have experienced first hand how it feels to feel like I belong and maybe how it might feel when I don’t. I know I like the former. To feel like I belong to someone and that they belong to me. I love it. Many might say – well that is just a relationship, a marriage. I agree. But then I also feel that so much of what I have learned so far about the non sexual / general relationship benefits of  D/s relationship are actually just a good way to exist in any relationship. We make conscious some things in order to make them automatic. To improve anything we must analyse a little and try to understand it it in order to create a change which, in time, can become totally automatic. Like learning to drive a car, then learning to become an advanced driver. We have to re-learn what we have come to do automatically, and perhaps remove bad habits which make us less safe drivers!

I love to feel that pride in my Baby Girl. I love her for who she is but of course we all like to feel positive pride about our partners. There is a fine line between showing off / ego and positive pride in something / someone. What man does not like to feel that when He takes His princess, His Baby Girl out all dressed up that He has a sense of pride and of course would love other men to look at His wife, His girl and find her attractive. Go on – every man if they were honest would say that. And then the sense of pride you feel to know that she is yours. They can look and drool – but it is me who is taking her home tonight. She is mine. What is more – she gives herself willingly to me and so I only own her because she wants me to.  She isn’t looking anywhere else for she has her world and everything she could ever dream of – right here. And every woman loves to feel adored and proud that her man is strong, a gentleman, funny, attractive and looks after Himself – physically, emotionally, spiritually.  What woman would not feel something inside if another woman looked at Him. But when they feel totally secure as a couple, then she can smile with inner pride because she knows He would never dream of going anywhere. He has His princess – right there. So yes sweetie – you can look at Him. But He is mine. I own Him – and He loves that. I don’t fear you.  I like that your attracted to Him. It says He is worthy of being adored. That is why “I” adore Him. We are strong. And I bet you wonder how we do it……. don’t you?

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